The Aardvark’s Tongue

Wow, if Shark-Week and the Oak Bluffs Monster Shark Hunt weren’t enough, the latest environmental oddity to wash-up on our shores is the Montauk Monster.

Could it be:

• An unknown and highly endangered marine mammal
• A sea turtle absent its shell (perhaps as a result of our Hawksbill-Turtle Bidet)
• The cast-off body parts of Michael Jackson or
• A discarded experiment from the government animal-disease research facility on Plum Island?

We could use something eloquent here. A bit of Robert Burns is in order:

Wee, sleeket, cowran, tim’rous beastie,
O, what panic’s in thy breastie!
Thou need na start awa sae hasty,
Wi’ bickering brattle!
I wad be laith to rin an’ chase thee,
Wi’ murd’ring pattle!

– From the poem To a Mouse –

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