The Aardvark's Tongue

Waiter! There’s a maggot in my cheese.

Bob Ragsdale — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 14:20:16 +0000

Neatorama served up this tasty morsel today, a post on Casu marzu cheese from Sardinia which is apparently served up with living maggots. This is of course because it is toxic if the maggots are dead. Makes sense to us. The following is in German so if you happen across an English translation of the below video, be sure to point us to it. Crackers anyone?

Oh, and apparently Gordon Ramsey likes it as well. Damm poster of this video won’t let us inbed it in our blog. Geez Toobmookish, that’s pretty uptight of you.

Amazon versus the Aardvark

Bob Ragsdale — Sun, 18 Jan 2009 18:02:57 +0000

Sun-Dried Aardvark-Tongue Swizzle-Sticks are now available on Amazon.com. Does it make the book better? No. Does it mean that you can buy it from a very trustworthy source instead of this here rather sketchy website? You bet!

So now you are probably asking yourself what you can do to help us at Aardvark Tongue Publishing.

Well you can buy the book from us, or from Amazon.
You can write a review of the book (which would be very nice of you).
Or you can subscribe to the newsletter.

At the end of the day, if you can’t trust Amazon who can you trust.

“No Squirrels Touch My Nuts”

Bob Ragsdale — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 03:21:24 +0000

Any man who says “No Squirrels Touch My Nuts” deserves a little air time on the Aardvark Tongue’s blog. Damm non-nut-touching Squirrels.

Better to put them (the squirrels) into a Flying Squirrel Trap-Shoot Kit which you can find in the book.

Womanizer - All American Rejects intermission

Bob Ragsdale — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 18:49:01 +0000

Clearly we have been far to lazy busy to post lately, being the holidays and all. So we bring you this musical interlude. Sort of a blogging intermission.

Sarah Palin’s turkey pardon is a real killer.

Bob Ragsdale — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 14:39:22 +0000

In our hunt for family appropriate thanksgiving news Alaska’s Governor Sarah Pailin emerges front and center in this amazingly gruesome clip. Immediately after doing an appearance in Wasilla to give the

traditional Thanksgiving pardon to a turkey, Palin proceeded to do an interview with a local TV station as turkeys were being slaughtered in the background. Talk about flip-flopping.

We’re huge admirers of Palin now.

Zebra Wellington - a recipe for dinner success.

Bob Ragsdale — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 16:27:56 +0000

Across the pond they know how to cook our kind of food. Fraser Lewry, writer for the UK’s Guardian Food Observer Monthly has this great recipe for zebra wellington.

The only way to enhance this fine dish would be to precede it with soup served up in our own Cow’s-Head (with limpet-eyes) Veal-Tureen, then finish it off with a spot of zebra milk creme brulee for dessert.

Endangered Species Chocolate

Bob Ragsdale — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 04:31:19 +0000

Ok, for real this one creeped us out for a couple of minutes - Endangered Species Chocolate.

Like WTF?? This is even stranger than our Hawksbill-Turtle-Bidet with Hyena-Penis-Water-Dispenser. So after we got over the initial shock at the thought of eating ground up monkey bits, we actually read the packaging and realized that these guys donate 10% of their profits to support natural habitats (just like we do). Which means that the difference between us is that we’re trying to be sick, unlike these guys for whom it apparently it just comes naturally.

Pet acupuncture has us on pins and needles

Bob Ragsdale — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 02:39:36 +0000

Well this story could only come from Los Angeles - Pet acupuncture is apparently the new way to go. Now we’re all natural sorts of folks (as is clearly obvious from our blog and book, but again somebody has gone an one-upped us. According to the L.A. Unleashed column of the L.A. Times holistic pet medicine is the new wave and at the cutting (or poking) edge is pet acupuncture.

If you consider that it’s probably better to stick needles in your pet than in yourself, then this is a really good deal. From our perspective however, it’s best to have the needles sticking out of the animal like in the case of our Patagonian-Hedge-Hog Soap-Holder (on page 52).

Damm that spam!

Bob Ragsdale — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 17:21:29 +0000

Over the past few weeks the amount of spam that we have received in our comments has skyrocketed. So much so that in our haste to clean out the thousands of spam comments, we managed to delete all of the good ones as well (so now it appears that nobody has ever commented on anything we have written - wonderful).

While we have Akismet anti-spam installed, it wasn’t working properly. We kept getting the message that Akismet could not find the server and register the api key. Turns out that we needed to amend our php.ini file and turn fopen on, and open a port to Akismet’s IP address. It was oddly difficult to find this information.

So now we have made the changes, our API key is registered and now all we have to do is sit back and see if this sucker really works.

Is Snowball the deer’s status endangered?

Bob Ragsdale — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 18:25:59 +0000

Judges in Oregon are asking the age old question “Why is a machine gun any different than a deer?” Good question actually when it comes to possession.

If you are unfamiliar with the story, here’s a refresher:

In 2001 Jim Filipetti of Bend, Oregon found Snowball the white doe by the side of the road - she was weak and had deformed hooves that prevented her from walking. Jim scooped her up and with the help of a local vet nursed her back to health. Ultimately snowball became a family pet and lived inside the Filipetti home for the first year of her life.
Police and wildlife officers confiscated Snowball (six years after Filipetti found the doe) on that grounds that the Filipetti’s did not have a permit to own a wild animal (September ‘07).
Oregon residents complain about the seizure (September ‘07).
Filipetti tries to get a federal exhibitor license to keep the deer (mid-September ‘07).
State rules out returning Snowball to the wild (mid-September ‘07).
Snowball’s offspring (the other deer seized in the original raid) to have a vasectomy - then to be released into the wild (late September ‘07).
Legal wrangling over Snowball continues.
Snowball goes into foster care at an elk farm and an Animal Rights Attorney enters the fray (mid-October ‘07).
Judge orders Snowball be returned to family (late-October ‘07).
State appeals order (late-October ‘07).
State defies order (late-October ‘07).
Family sues for defamation, asking for $ 124,000 (November ‘07).
State spending on the case exceeds 80,000 (July ‘08).
Oregon Court of Appeals panel explores the legal implications of the Snowball case (September ‘08).

Today, more than one year after this fiasco started, Snowball the deer’s fate is still up in the air, the Filipetti family is still without their family pet, and the Oregon taxpayer is well on his/her way to being fleeced out of at least a $ 100,000 or more in court costs.

You know…we still need a mounted deer’s head for the Deer-Hoof Gun-Rack: Stranger than Aardvark Fiction Item #6 (the previous post on this blog). Perhaps we could contact the State of Oregon.