From the Aardvark's Tongue blog: Free Weekly Book Excerpt: #21
July 2, 2008North-American-Bison-Horn Towel-Racks.
Add
a touch of the great outdoors to your bathroom with these beautiful North-American-Bison-Horn Towel-Racks. At one time nearly 60 Million bison roamed the plains of North America. Today there are still plenty left with upwards of 30,000 head. Male and female bison produce impressive horns curving outward and up from their massive heads, perfect for holding large fluffy bath towels. In the tradition of the plains Indians, we waste nothing when we take the life of such a majestic animal. Once the horns are removed, the rest of this impressive beast is then carefully transported to the abattoir where it is converted to glue (See Bison Binder). As an option we are also offering the Bison-Horn-Mounting-Kit for the hood of a 1970’s Cadillac).
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About the Author
Bob Ragsdale hopes this book will make him rich (or will at least sell enough copies to pay for the printing costs). He works as an advertising executive and and is reasonably good at it. In his spare time writes useless books such as this one, and works on useless cars (such as his 1959 Citroen DS19).
About the Illustrator
Jamie Guy hopes this book won't strain his relationship with his vegetarian girlfriend. He is currently working as a graphic designer in sunny Orlando Florida, and finds his free time is better spent doodling and designing than his failed attempts to get a tan. Jamie intends to push the Aardvark Tongue Publishing envelope with his current project The Cannibal's Cookbook - Mouthwatering Meals for When You Have People for Dinner.
About the Programmer
Marty Stake hopes this book won’t get him arrested. He works as a web site developer. Marty has an amazing ability to tell you that whatever you want to develop certainly isn’t possible – he will then proceed to not only make it possible, but improve upon it as well, and will inform you that he has done so about 30 minutes after you first went to him with the request.
About the Book
The purpose of this book is first and foremost to entertain. We hope you enjoy it. Most of the items in this book are not really available (and hopefully never will be) and many of the "facts" are actually fabrications or outright lies, however if we have noted that an animal or species is endangered, chances are that it really is.
About the Environment
Every one of us can do something for the environment – and some of it is simple. Recycle, feed the birds in your back yard, landscape with native plants and be aware of the world around us and of the impact of our actions.
About the Charity
A portion of the profits from the sale of this book will go to the World Wildlife Fund because it is a charity we believe in.
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"Probably the most influential book of our time." Captain Niekerk